Talking to the Kids About Divorce

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry came out with the following guidelines a couple of years ago, and it is good to revisit them from time to time.

Talking to children about a divorce is difficult. The following tips can help both the child and parents with the challenge and stress of these conversations:

• Do not keep it a secret or wait until the last minute.
• Tell your child together with your spouse.
• Keep things simple and straight-forward.
• Tell them the divorce is not their fault.
• Admit that this will be sad and upsetting for everyone.
• Reassure your child that you both still love them and will always be their parents.
• Do not discuss each other’s faults or problems with the child. 

...Children will do best if they know that their mother and father will still be their parents and remain involved with them even though the marriage is ending and the parents won't live together. Long custody disputes or pressure on a child to "choose" sides can be particularly harmful for the youngster and can add to the damage of the divorce. Research shows that children do best when parents can cooperate on behalf of the child.

The entire article is available at: http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/children_and_divorce